I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize