You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
