I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
