Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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