are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i love accidental penises.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
