dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
