he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
