ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
