its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
