Will you blow on my dice?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
