Whod you bang
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
