I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just gift wrapped bread.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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