How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
