Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize