i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
