Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
