I hate all girls vehemently.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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