I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's the barista slut.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think a kid would responsible me up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
