Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
