I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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