Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Is it because I queefed?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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