White coat. Heels.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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