I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
