morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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