Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize