Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
