There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
