I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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