i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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