His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
