It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
