he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
