why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
