I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
