It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
