yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
