Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
