you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
