I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
