ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
