Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Can I color on your dick again?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
