I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
