Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
