I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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