i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
