I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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