I could make wine with my vomit
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
