**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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