Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
