He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize