Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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