You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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