Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
