Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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