oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
