his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
NoShamevember. You game?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
