I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
