Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
