Old men and throwing up are my life now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
