You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
