The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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