I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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