we're blogging at a bar
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
